I’m a fan of Star Wars. To say it was “my generation” feels weird because it is a franchise that spans generations. It exceeds them. When the series Mandalorian started, I was very interested. Like so many, Boba Fett was the guy. The bad ass that was barely there. But found a place in our hearts. Din isn’t Fett, I know that. You know that. But season one of this show was a return to that highly unexplored part of Star Wars. We got 3 seasons and a pseudo season with Book of Boba Fett. When they announced that the next installment would instead be a movie, I was skeptical.

Not because Din can’t work as a movie, but because it has excelled as a series. But a movie is what we got. And if you’re doing a movie, you have to take what was a series and expand beyond the small screen. You have to have a reason to be a movie. To be different. Bigger. Better. More.

And they didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, this is a good piece of Mandalorian. I’m going to skip some steps here. The problem with the movie was that it wasn’t a movie. It felt like they had a roughed in outline for an 8 episode season 4. Several plots that would be spread out. The opening scene was episode one. The bit with Rotta the Hutt was episodes 2-4. Mando being saved by Grogu was episode 6. What about 5? Hold that thought. Episodes 7 and 8 would have wrapped up the Hutt storyline. Episode 5 would likely have been a Bo Katan centric one. And all of the episodes would have had a bit of Bo.

It feels stitched together and abbreviated. Turning 8 episodes into a 2 hour movie. There was a significant plot point about modifying his new ship. But it felt like something that was intended to have more significance across a season. In the movie it felt like a completely pointless plotline. It didn’t feel like they made a movie, just cut and pasted scenes. 

Din fights. A lot. And also expounds on how he tries to avoid violence. That feels hollow after the first three major scenes in the movie (45 minutes ish) being Din going all John Wick on one group after another. Fight scenes where it feels like Superman going into a hideout of Joker henchmen and he is fighting them. You know he is going to beat them all down and not even get his trademark cowlick out of place. The problem (as I saw it) was that they took what should have been an hour episode and trimmed it down to the first 20 minutes. Those missing 40 minutes are the magic that made us all love and enjoy the Mandalorian. I don’t want to see a Cliff Notes supercut movie of a season. And that is what this feels like.

Too much happens without there being the down time of life in the Mandoverse. 

Even scenes that were meant to be epic were subdued. A rainbow that doesn’t go away and whose color has faded. Drooping over the horizon, a relic of a glory that is no longer.

I want to try and express how I felt watching this, but the problem is that I didn’t. There was nothing there. I went from scene to scene expressionless. You could make a case for me being dead inside. Sure. Has 50 years of Star Wars jaded me? I would argue no. Because I loved the Solo movie. Ok, most people hated it, but my point here is that I’m not dead inside. I can enjoy things. 60 plus years of Doctor Who and I still love it (ok, I’m not 60+, but it is!) Hell, I enjoyed the Book of Boba Fett and would like to see a second season there. 

Everyone in this movie felt like they phoned it in. There is a scene I want to verify, but no way am I going to rewatch to double check. Din has been captured by a bounty hunter that delivers him to the Hutt Twins. He is on his knees before them. The bounty hunter removes his shackles and before he leaves, Din’s helmet is removed and given to the Hutt Twins. Din simply kneels. Dejected and accepting of it. The Hutt Twins then mock him with the whole “You have been disgraced because we, your enemy, have seen your face.” This spurs him to action, but too late. They open the stereotypical trap door in front of the Hutt dais and he drops into a swimming pool. That contains a couple attacky snakey alligator thingies. And then after he defeats them, there is a massive super snake worm dragon parasite looking thing. But…. He was unshackled when his helmet was removed. Huh? Why didn’t he fight that? And it is such an easy fix in the story. Have the helmet removed before the shackles. He can’t fight it then. Easy.

And easy is actually the problem. It feels like they took the easy route here. But I don’t want to belabor the point here. I love Star Wars. I don’t regret that I watched this movie, but I do regret that they made this movie instead of season 4. The Mandalorian wasn’t an amazing series because of Din, but because of the world they built. And this movie felt like it was being made on the basis that Din was amazing. Which he is. Also, aside from saving his life, Grogu felt kinda pointless. He was a meme of eating anything he thought might be appetizing. And sitting on the sideline trying not to die while Din fought 20 people. 

I hear you asking. But how do you rate this? Ironically, you kinda know that before I do. Since it is at the top of the review, you had a star number in your mind as soon as you started reading this. Me? I am at the end of writing it and still don’t know what it is.

6

It’s a 6.

Because it is Star Wars.