I hate Deadpool.

Ok, hate is a really strong word. Let’s go with… I really dislike Deadpool on a fundamental level both as a character and as a storytelling device. Yes, a storytelling device. Because while he is a character, he is wielded like a hammer by a carpenter. Like a paintbrush by a painter. Like a wrench by a mechanic. I could go on here, but you get the picture. When Deadpool was introduced, she was just an assassin bad guy type of character (I say she because in the initial book he appeared in, there is no way you can say that character is drawn as a male. But I digress.) It was over five years later when a different creative team chose to add breaking the fourth wall. There is some debate over whether he technically does this or not. But regardless of that debate, he turned into a character with that as his shtick. And it shtuck. I felt he was meh before that and I never embraced the new redesign they gave him.

And I say all this about Deadpool within the context of my closest friend being the writer behind Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe. (Cullen’s writing is always amazing and he can get me to read a character I don’t enjoy.)

But back to the movie. Ryan Reynolds does for Deadpool what Cullen does. Ryan makes him an interesting and fun character to watch. The first two movies showed that. And bringing Hugh Jackman back for another go at Wolverine is what had me excited for this movie.

To misquote Jigsaw from the Saw movie franchise “Oh yes, there will be spoilers.”

This movie starts with a fun bang. We don’t yet know why, but Deadpool thinks that Wolverine is still alive in his grave and is the key to saving his world. So he digs him up. And then sits with the Adamantium skeletal remains of Wolverine discussing things when the TVA shows up to rein him in. (So right off the bat, if you haven’t seen the Loki series you may be at a disadvantage here with not knowing about the TVA. Don’t worry, they explain it a little. Soon.) This leads to what is one of the most fun and entertaining fight/opening credit scenes in movie history. When told not to make a move towards his weapons, Deadpool replies with “Sure I won’t use my weapons at all.” (Likely paraphrased as memory is a fickle thing.) He then breaks off a rib from Wolverine and uses it to start the carnage. Not sure why the Adamantium is so easy for him to break, but let’s not get bogged down in details. For the next 5 minutes or so, we watch him use every piece of Wolverine to take down the seemingly endless ranks of TVA soldiers. And it was fun to watch. But to get to the story part we need actual story parts. So we get those by backpedaling to show why Deadpool thinks his world is dying. Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool isn’t part of Marvel 616 Earth, he is 10005 Earth. Yes, multiverse crap. I know, who doesn’t hate a good multiversal tale where anything can happen because nothing ever matters since it is just “that Earth over there” (kinda like a nerdy version of THOT but it’s a TEOT I guess?) Wolverine was the singular anchor being keeping 10005 in existence. With him dead, that entire timeline is now disintegrating. (Editorial note here: So one way or another at some point the anchor will die and then a timeline is doomed? That seems like a problematic plot point to introduce.)

Deadpool steals time travel tech from the TVA and goes hunting the multiverse for a new Wolverine to bring home that can save his world. Not that he cares about his world, but he has 9 friends there and he doesn’t want it to end for them. Kidnapping a Wolverine from his world to 10005 makes Deadpool logic sense though. The best part about this quest is that we are taken on a montage trip through Wolverine’s comic history. Seeing many iconic moments that comic fans will cheer at as we get the eye candy from TEOT over and over again.

But eventually we need story. And this story is mainly about fighting. About every 15 minutes Wolverine and Deadpool get into a prolonged deathmatch because healing factors. And they are fun. A lot of fun.

But eventually we need story. And then we get Blade and Elektra and X-23 and Gambit. Other Marvel characters that never got to be part of the MCU proper. And we get a villain in Cassandra Nova (if you don’t know, she is the twin of Charles Xavier who died in the womb. But they tell you this in the movie, so don’t worry if you don’t know yet, even though I just told you.)

But eventually we need story. Right? Am I wrong here on this? I think I may be wrong here. Because we also get the Deadpool Corps which lets us have Deadpool and Wolverine fight against 100 Deadpools. Don’t forget about healing factors, because those make for really long fights.

But eventually we need story. Not really, instead we get a shirtless Hugh Jackman. And a happy ending (no Crocs were involved, I’m talking story elements here.)

But I don’t feel like we ever really got much of a story here. But that’s ok. Because as a character Deadpool sucks and I don’t really think anyone reads or plays or watches Deadpool for the story. (Have you met Deadpool cosplayers?) There is entertainment value here. Really big entertainment value. And that is what this movie is about. So how do I give a 10 star rating to a movie that I feel was lacking in any real effort at a story? Because it was entertaining as hell. It was fun. I laughed. I smiled. I cried (that may have been more related to my back hurting in the theater chairs though.) And a friend paid for the ticket, so it was a free movie. But my rating would have been the same had I paid for the ticket. Might have been higher without the crying bit. Not sure how to get to 42 stars though on a 10 star scale.