For a little context here before I dig in… I had clicked on Shudder one day and the movie they had playing was this one. It was a scene about halfway through where Alaistair the brain was walking away from a basketball court leaving Psycho Goreman, Mimi, and Luke behind. It looked super silly and I quickly left to find something to watch. Fast forward about 3 months and while talking with Cullen, he suggested I watch it. It’s taken awhile, but I finally have.

And first thing I have to say is that I have never before watched a movie where I wanted a kid to die as much as in this one. The character Mimi was beyond unlikeable. She was an entitled brat who did mean things because she enjoyed doing so. Even the kid in Babadook, while wholly unlikeable, wasn’t someone I wanted to die (in my defense, had he died I wouldn’t have been bothered, but I wasn’t rooting for his death.) Having a “redemption” arc moment at the end of the movie doesn’t minimize that she is a horrible human. At one point she told Psycho Goreman to kill her brother and only stopped him after he lifted him off the ground by the throat. Had PG chosen a different method to kill him, Luke would have been dead.

The second thing is the other first thing I have to say. This movie answers the very odd and specific question of “What would it be like if GWAR made a light hearted kids horror movie?” And as crazy as that question is, it feels like the best description I have for what I just watched.

But getting to the movie. We start with Mimi and Luke playing a game called Crazy Ball, made up by Mimi. A punishingly complicated set of rules slapped onto dodge ball. Right off the bat we see how mean and bitchy Mimi is. Later there is digging of a massive hole in their yard and Mimi finds the gem that, after PG is released from his prison, controls PG.

The first thing PG does after escaping though is do a little murder and mayhem. A great thing about this is that it is primarily practical effects. Yay for that. Actually my favorite part was when PG kills (transforms) a cop into a lackey. The practical effects in this scene reminded me of when I first saw Robocop. And this movie has a late 80s early 90s Fangoria feel to it. If Highlight magazine had done a Fangoria special (or maybe the other way around.)

It turns out PG is actually a chaotic force of evil that was imprisoned and sent to Earth by the law and order galactic force know as the Templars. Thanks Templars for making Earth the galactic Australia (sorry Australia, we love you!)

There was a weird and fun scene where the group PG used to run with shows up. This felt a ton like GWAR. They fight but it is unfair because at one point PG commanded them to kill Mimi to free him from her control. She then commanded him not to fight against him. The 5 of them wailed on him for a bit, but didn’t really do anything to him, even though he was defenseless. Finally she relented and allowed him to fight after he apologized for telling them to kill him (even though it was only like 5 minutes prior that she told PG to kill Luke and never apologized for that!)

There is such a weird dynamic going on here. We know PG is a very bad guy. Luke is the ineffective good guy and Mimi is the bully bitch wielding the power of PG over everything and everyone without a care in the world. The parents of Mimi and Luke have a dysfunctional as hell family. The Templar group sends one of theirs, Pandora, to take down PG (even though he is apparently the most vile being ever.)

And I felt extremely conflicted watching this. Because I did enjoy it. Even the poor kid who got turned into a brain (although oddly nobody seemed to really care about his transformation, even his parents.) Would I watch this again? Probably. Maybe in the background. Maybe showing it to someone else. I lean towards giving this a 5-6 rating because it was good, but then the practical effects rears its head and I realize this has to be a 7 thanks to that.

One last thing here that made me very happy was the end song. A song that felt like a Kool Moe Dee rap. A bit of a remake of Turtle Power. But honestly, best to link it here so you can listen for yourself.