The logline of this movie is enough to say “Hold on….What?”

Killer jeans is the name of the game here. But that gets a little ahead of things. Because it doesn’t start there. It starts in India with workers in a field harvesting experimental cotton. Interesting idea. What could this experimental cotton possibly do?

Apparently it is used to create jeans that have special abilities. After you put them on, they will alter your figure (while wearing them) to look either 5 pounds lighter or 5 pounds heavier. They never explain how the jeans will know which you want.

The company selling them (or about to debut them) is a “pretty fake influencer type of fashion of the moment” store. Personally the type of store I would never go shop in. The workers there all seem to have the poise and style expected of one working in such a place. And a manager, Craig, that only cares about corporate appearances and how he can move up.

The movie came across my feed on Shudder within a grouping of female directed content. Elza Kephart directed this after writing it with Patricia Gomez. I was not familiar with either of these women prior to this. But I do want to look into other things they have worked on.

One worker decides she wants a pair of jeans before release. She happens to pick a pair that are a bit extra experimental. But not by design. They get a bit uncomfortable, but then it gets worse when the jeans seem to be trying to eat her. She dies and the jeans quickly devour the blood. But workers need to keep going (also nobody knows she is dead yet) because the debut and sale coming in the morning is more important than anything. Black Friday is for amateurs in comparison.

Another worker finds the jeans when looking for the missing girl. But quickly decides trying on the jeans is more important. This time the jeans take control of her legs and force her to move around awkwardly until impaling her on something that kills her.

Two down and an unknown number still to go!

One of the workers is new, Libby. Another worker is Shruti, of Indian descent. Why do I mention them? Because the next bit deals mainly with them, and the manager Craig. Libby has seen a bit of video where the jeans are stalking towards Shruti, but then hear the music she is listening to and singing along with…. and the jeans begin dancing. Bollywood style. Libby, Shruti, and Craig are talking in the managers office. Libby suggesting things are out of control. On security cameras, we see that the jeans are coming towards the office. But the jeans have put a mannequin top on, and look rather human. Even having adorned its forehead with a bloody red Bindi (the traditional Hindu red dot worn on the forehead.)

Interestingly the “blood ink” seemed to be very full and never ran out. Would have been nice to see it “dip” once or twice.

But Craig quickly makes things worse and attacks the pants.

I know I tend to over do it at times with spoilers and explaining a movie. But I’m gonna stop there. Because I actually enjoyed this movie. And controversially, I’m going to be rating it higher than the Tolkien movie I just reviewed. Yes, Slaxx is better than War of the Rohirrim.

It is a B style movie. No doubt about that. Unlike Ian’s recent Sharks of the Corn movie though, this one is worth the time invested. Sure, there are bad moments, but I can honestly say I wouldn’t mind watching this again if I was sitting down with someone who hadn’t seen it.

I’m thinking this deserves 7 stars. I know I often hit a sweet spot on 8 stars, but this doesn’t reach that level. Interestingly, my brain is thinking about stars, I wonder if this is getting a higher rating because of the Tolkien movie I just watched. This has to be higher, but if I had reviewed this in the opposite order Slaxx may have gone down a star or two as well as the Tolkien movie dropping closer to the bottom of the barrel.