I haven’t been as in touch with new things of late. I came across Get Away and my appreciation of Nick Frost enticed me to simply hit play without looking into it at all.

And that may have been a mistake. This movie is not what it claims to be. Within the narrative of the movie itself that is. But let’s jump right in. What follows is a lot of spoiler stuff and frustration.

Nick Frost is Richard, the apparent patriarch of a family heading out for a vacation. His wife (Susan) and two older children (Sam and Jessie) are riding in a vehicle making for a ferry that is going to take them to the remote Swedish island of Svalta.

Right off the bat things felt overly awkward to me. At best, this is a family that feels like it is on the brink of collapse. They stop to eat at a really awkward restaurant that seems like they want them to just go away and leave their restaurant alone. After eating they quickly leave, so fast that Richard leaves his wallet behind. He manages to retrieve it just in time to get on board the ferry.

After a very awkward ferry ride, they arrive and are greeted with, you guessed it, a very awkward welcome party. The reason they are going to this specific place is that Susan has family ties to this land with regards to a massacre long ago. During the time they are on the island, a ceremonial ritual play is going to happen to commemorate the incident. But first, they are “rescued” from the awkward welcome party by the guy who owns the airbnb they are staying at. Getting to their airbnb, things continue to escalate in the awkwardness. Their host is creepy and gives off really bad vibes. The home itself has some weird design to it that becomes relevant later, but I was questioning right away.

Their host steals the bra and panties the daughter changed out of, and he then is seen wearing them and only them. So we now have him as a pervy creepy crossdresser. The daughter notices they are gone and a comment she makes to her brother instantly threw things off further for me. She asks if he took them to masturbate to, and essentially says that is fine, but she wants them back when he is done. And his response here is something along the lines of you don’t really know me.

It’s not too much longer before the twist happens. The twist comes when the creepy host leaves them drugged cookies. He returns after they have eaten them and passed out. He gets ready to rape the daughter and suddenly we have the whole family awake and revealing that none of them ate the cookies. So they murder the hell out of him. And then gear up with weapons and go outside to wipe out every living person on the island. During this excursion we learn that they aren’t related at all, the family is their cover story.

They mostly do this unscathed up until the son annoys Richard so he kills him. Nobody really cares a lot about this, beyond the bureaucratic red tape that will need to be done afterwards.

But then they get careless in their attacks, and the daughter is shot in the stomach. Which seems bad, but doesn’t really phase her that much. Then Richard has his right hand and much of his right arm below the elbow blown off. Which doesn’t really phase him that much either.

In the end, a police boat arrives and rescues the 3 surviving family members who claim to be victims. They leave in a rather upbeat and jolly way talking about things they did with the cop in the boat in earshot. And it ends. We are left with a tease about there being a bigger organization behind their excursion.

There was so much in this that bothered me that it has taken me a week to write this. I wanted to enjoy this. Hell, Nick Frost wrote it. But there is no story here, nothing to intrigue me. It goes from awkward to a gore fest with an unrealistic lengthy massacre.

I definitely don’t recommend this movie. I’m thinking two stars is the best I can give it. And that feels like I’m being generous.